Posted by Brandi in Happy Summer: Savannah on June 29, 2014
Where the house we rented in Denver was a total dream, exactly how you’d want these situations to go and even better… Savannah devolves every day in to a bigger nightmare. The A/C didn’t work, his response was “relax, cool down, you must be from the north.” The night before last, our car was broken in to and several things stolen, “you need to be more street smart.” There’s more, but I’m probably already boring you.
The condescension in every note from him makes me think that he think we’re a couple of spoiled young buck kids who just escaped from the security of our parents’ homes. It’s maddening. Thanks, but I’m a pretty solid grown-up, I’m more than aware how the world works. My stomach has been in knots since the morning after we arrived. I had a gut feeling about this one and, like they always say, I should have trusted it.
Every hour my anxiety looms closer and closer to wanting to bail on this entire thing. For the first time in six weeks I feel like I want to go home, wherever that is. It’s been so, so good, so needed, and we’ve had the best adventures. Someone told me last night she loved how happy I am and look and I was shocked. I haven’t felt like I look happy in, oh ten months, so I felt like this must be working. I’d gotten away from everything that was brutalizing my soul and allowed myself to untether and embrace the insanity of this trip. So why does this situation make me question everything we’re doing?
Or rather, why am I letting it make me question everything?
I want to feel safe, I want to feel comfortable, I want to feel at home. That’s not too much to ask just in general, but especially after you’ve sent someone $3,000. In Denver, I felt as at home as I did in College Hill; eerily, maybe a little too at home. Right now I feel like July 25 is painfully far away.
I feel terribly behind on this blog. Well, it’s not a feeling, it’s a fact. When I lost 75 percent of the photos we took in Denver (yeah, vapor, poof! gone. no back up!) I was so disheartened that trying to go back and fill in the gaps without photos felt like a bigger task that it was originally. Since then, we’ve traveled some 3,000 miles to Savannah by way of Wichita, Oklahoma City, New Orleans, and Orlando. Today is the first in ten days that we don’t have to wake up early and rush to do something or drive somewhere. I have so many stories to tell, adventures and experiences that have been so incredible that I wonder how they can be real.
This moment was bound to come at some point; I just didn’t expect it so soon.